Barney's Billy, Buddy
by fingers-falling-upwards
Summary: Barney is definitely the evil twin between the two, but when Billy shows up in need of help, there isn't actually a world where he says no.


**I love fics like this. I hope y'all do too...**

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 _Barney's Billy, Buddy_

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Robin isn't stressed about her impending wedding. She doesn't do stressed. Well, rather, she doesn't stress about the small stuff. A wedding, in her opinion, counts as the small stuff. Lily keeps telling her that the stress will hit her like a train as they get closer and closer. _And it's okay, Robin. I was stressed too. It's completely normal._

Lily telling Robin not to stress about getting stressed gives Robin enough fodder to snort derisively whenever Lily starts that speech again. Lily's knowing shake of her head does unsettle Robin's stomach, but she shrugs it off easily enough.

The fact is, Robin isn't worried because she and Barney are just different than Lily and Marshall. In a lot of ways both good and bad. In this instance, they're different in that Robin has to be worried about different things. Lily and Marshall had been running around compromising on their venue, having flower arrangements fall through and rearranging the seating charts with neurotic attention. Robin, instead, is trying to predict what ridiculous stunt her fiancé is planning for the wedding, and circumvent him in time to prevent it. Outsmarting her fiancé is a daunting task, but it's a challenge Robin relishes. She likes sparring with him, in a lot of different ways.

She's well aware he's going to do something ridiculous, so most of his small slips in other areas of the wedding event planning don't bother her much.

…Which explains why when she sees Barney sitting in the corner booth of McLaren's as she, Lily, Marshall, and Ted enter, with his hair noticeably shorter, all she does is sigh. The four of them settle in the corner booth with Barney, sitting on both sides of him. He looks at her with wide eyes and shuffles down.

"I thought we agreed we weren't going to cut our hair until the wedding pictures." Robin tilts her head. She doesn't feel like sparring over this so she smiles. "Doesn't look half bad, but I kind of like it long. Better to grip."

She raises her palm preemptively for a high-five and is sorely disappointed. He's staring at her with an almost shocked and flustered look.

"Why do you look freaked?" Ted asks.

"Yeah, I can practically see you clutching your pearls." Lily hums to herself.

"And what's with the new clothes?" Marshall asks.

Robin looks over her fiancé and sees a completely unBarney-ish ensemble. He's wearing a red t-shirt layered with a long sleeve grey shirt beneath. It's kind of a train wreck, and one Barney would rather be a casualty of than participating in by wearing it, or so Robin thought. On his lap is a blue hoodie he's been holding and wringing intermittently. He's wearing jeans too, cheap looking. Robin has never seen any of these clothes before.

Barney blinks hard, an equally unfamiliar gesture.

"W-What?" he asks, voice soft.

Robin frowns. "You're not running a play, are you? I'm already marrying you. And I thought we finally got rid of that book!"

"What?! Marrying?" He's definitely horrified now. "I'm sorry, but who are you?"

"Seriously? The Seashore Amnesiac?" Ted sighs. "That is such a stupid play."

Robin scans Barney for a long moment, running over his face and eyes, and discovering an empty spot where a spark of love and mischievousness should be.

"Oh my God! You aren't him! This isn't Barney!" Robin exclaims. Lily, Ted, and Marshall all gasp.

"Are you sure?" Marshall presses.

She stares a moment more before nodding. "Absolutely."

"That means…" Ted starts.

"A second Doppelgänger!" Lily exclaims. All of them share smiles and high-fives.

Robin pauses in her elation when she realizes what they just said to a complete stranger.

"I am so sorry," Robin says. "I thought you were my fiancé. You look completely identical. I mean, aside from the hair and fashion sense." Her Barney is a better dresser by far.

"It's fine. Uh, did you say Barney was your fiancé?" Not-Barney asks.

"Yeah, have you met him?" She leans in eagerly. "Did he ask you to meet here so we could see you? Because a Doppelgänger is an awesome pre-wedding gift. Sorry, I mean, the Doppelgänger thing is sort of an inside joke."

"No… I mean, I'm not a…" He really isn't Barney, practically the definition of ineloquent under all their stares. He's playing with the ends of his long sleeves in a gesture Robin actually finds charming in its vulnerability. She doesn't like that they're all intimidating him though, so she leans away from him and directs a friendly smile his way.

"I'm just here to find Barney. I wasn't expecting to run into his fiancé or friends," Not-Barney manages. He mumbles something to himself, and Robin has a feeling that he didn't know they were engaged.

She's about to ask his name when the answer is given to her, unasked, by her fiancé.

"Guess who scored special visas to North Korea for him and his fiancée?!" Barney asks as he enters the bar. He immediately heads over to them. "I had to twist an arm or seven, but— Billy?!"

He stops and absolutely gapes at the person in the booth. Robin is now realizing that this is an even stranger event for all of them. Clearly, Barney didn't know he was here, so how did 'Billy' find him?

Speaking of, Billy all but vibrates as he scoots Lily and Marshall to the side so he can get out of the seat. He stands and faces Barney, blinking hard and twitching, toying with the edges of his sleeves again.

Robin feels nauseated at the mirror image presented before her. Their faces are identical from this angle, where she can't really see their eyes. She shrugs the sensation off her shoulders and instead knits her brow with concern. Barney's body-language speaks of tense discomfort and stress.

"I…"Billy swallows hard. "I need somewhere to stay. Something… happened. I can't… I need to stay somewhere else. No questions asked."

There's a tense silence and Robin can sense them holding their breaths.

"Okay," her fiancé says softly. There's a second of hesitation where Billy exhales in relief and Barney just watches.

Then Barney shocks all of them when he steps forward and wraps his arms around Billy. It isn't a bro-hug. It lasts longer that three-seconds, and it's tight and close. She can't see Barney's expression over Billy's shoulder, but Billy's is full of grief and relief. His hands fist Barney's Armani suit and he doesn't get a word of reproach.

After a long moment where Robin notices the entire bar is staring at their corner, Barney and Billy part. Her fiancé turns to them, eyes oddly wet.

"Who…" Lily asks vaguely.

Barney turns, keeping an arm around Billy's shoulder.

"This is Billy, my twin brother."

Robin and all their friends drop their jaws in shock.

"What?!"

They all clamor on top of each other with their questions, and Marshall pulls Barney down to the booth so they can question him.

As Barney sits in the booth, Robin can see his eyes are still focused on Billy with strange precision. Billy pulls up a chair and sits at the edge of the table. There's room in the booth, but it's clear he isn't ready to cozy up to them.

"You actually have a twin?! This isn't a play or something?" Marshall asks.

"Look at them, even Barney can't pull that off," Ted says.

"Wow. This is big," Lily utters.

For her part, Robin has been floating in a cloud of shock. This wasn't quite what she expected to come to blows with Barney over (her money was on his inability to say the final syllable in 'ring bearer' because so help her, if there is a wild mammal at her wedding…), but it's completely warranted. Were she and Barney not engaged, she'd be trying to coerce embarrassing stories out of Billy. As it is she trains her gaze on Barney.

"You have a twin brother," she deadpans. "A twin brother. And you never told me?!" Her volume is rising, but she can't seem to stop. "Look at me!" she demands, and Barney finally tears his eyes away from Billy. "How can you expect me to marry you when you're still keeping secrets this big from me? Your job, I'll concede that. A _twin brother_ is my breaking point! Why didn't you say anything?!"

"Because I thought he was dead." Barney turns his eyes back to Billy who blinks hard again and avoids his brother's gaze.

"Oh," Robin manages. She isn't the only one blown away by this.

"Barney…" Billy says, a plea buried somewhere in there.

"I'm sorry, Robin. I know I should have said something, but can we please talk about this later?" he asks. Normally, Robin would be a dog with a bone about this matter, but the circumstances coupled with the shock still in Barney's eyes and the upset in Billy's is enough to let her exhale.

"Of course."

"Thank you." He stands and kisses her, light and distant. Billy rises to his feet, only seeming more inelegant compared to Barney's smooth motions. "I'm going to get Billy settled in the guest room. I'll call you tomorrow."

Robin stares at the door they exit through for a long time.

"Well shit," Ted sums up marvelously.

"Honey," Lily starts, her voice settling into the caring tone that Robin will do anything to avoid right now.

"Alcohol. That's what I need." Robin stares hard at Marshall who's at the farthest edge of the booth. "I need alcohol."

Marshall jumps to it. Robin then dedicates her energy to scotch, a Robin Scherbatsky cocktail, gin and tonic, a martini, and then more scotch. She gets to a point where she's drunk enough to take Lily into the ladies' room to spew half-formed thoughts at her. Lily, bless her, follows along, considerably less drunk.

"I hate this." Robin leans against the wall she once denounced Marshall on. Since then, it's been painted over, but she runs her hands over the new paint, as if expecting to feel grooves from the felt-tip sharpie.

"I get that… he lied to you—"

"No, it's not that." Robin stumbles a little when she isn't even moving. "I can't be mad at him. He didn't talk about his dead twin. I don't blame him for that at all. I would do the same thing if I had a dead twin."

Robin almost manages a snort but it sounds a little off-key to her ears to pass. Dead twins coming back from the dead. It sounds like a soap opera. She's laugh, but the only one who would appreciate her inappropriate timing in this joke is Barney, and he's the one with the dead twin it seems.

"Then what is it?" Lily asks, getting closer and steadying Robin with a firm hand on her shoulder.

"I get it, he didn't do anything wrong! I hate it 'cause I can't be mad at him when it makes sense. But I'm so mad anyways!"

Lily gives her a sad smile and hugs her. Robin doesn't reciprocate besides resting her head on Lily's shoulder.

What Robin doesn't say is that she's scared she isn't equipped to help her fiancé weather the storm of emotions she caught in his eyes. This is big. So big. And this isn't really something she expected to deal with as the first big make-it-or-break it moment of their marriage. They were still weeks away from even getting to their venue…

"It'll be okay," Lily shushes gently. Robin finally returns the grip and hopes dearly that it's true.

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Barney rocks on his heels impatiently as they wait for their ride to appear. After pulling up, Ranjit looks at Billy and Barney back and forth a few times. Barney gives him the destination after they get in, and then raises the divider before the driver has a moment to say something Barney doesn't have a reply to. There is very little Barney is prepared to hear and say, so Billy's determined silence isn't as terrible as it would be in other circumstances. He stares at his brother who keeps his sights on his hands.

They exit in front of his apartment. Barney tells Ranjit he's done for the night and then tugs his brother past the surprised doorman into the elevator. Once they get in his apartment and the door shuts, Barney wheels around and faces his brother who's hovering by the couch. Away from the others, he's a little more stable. He's more determined and a little more familiar to Barney as opposed to the veritable shaky ghost he stumbled upon.

Barney opens his mouth to ask or accuse or say something— he doesn't know which. He doesn't get the opportunity.

"No questions asked," Billy says.

Everything freezes in his chest and it takes a beat for his blood to start pumping again.

"No questions?" Barney asks. "You're telling me not to ask any questions when you come find me after telling me you were off grid and not to look for you _three_ _years ago?_! I don't get to ask questions about that?!"

Barney doesn't usually get angry at people, because to be angry, you really have to care about someone. Billy is one of those special examples of exceptions, which is why Barney feels ready to burn this building to the ground.

"I said no questions asked. You owe me," Billy says, stubborn, always so stubborn.

"I—" and it isn't even one particular time that Billy's referencing. He's implying all of the times he's been there for Barney to pull him out of the dregs of his own schemes gone wrong, or when Shannon broke up with him and he reinvented himself. Billy was there for all of that, even if only by phone or internet. Him skipping off for a few years seems so small compared to all he's paid witness to and supported. And if this is the instance Billy needs him to be there, Barney can only do that, he supposes.

"Okay…" he says at length, taking a deep breath in and out as Billy's shoulders loosen. Barney swallows and puts a smile forward, trying to treat this like Billy has come by to visit. Which he has. Sort of. "Well, since you seem to have left your luggage at the terminal, I'll have to find you some clothes."

Barney leads the way into his master suite, chattering about how he's set the place up to ward away women who cling in the mornings after. Billy manages a few chuckles and Barney uses it to keep his mood afloat.

He fishes a pair of boxers, sweat pants and his most worn tee-shirt from his dresser. The tee is something he's had for a while, and as his brother's eyes run over it, Barney knows he recognizes it. Billy takes the clothes and follows Barney into the guest bedroom. In the deepest parts of the cupboards he finds some soap and shampoo. He thinks about apologizing for the lack of conditioner but knows his brother better than that. He finds a new, fluffy towel and gives it to his brother. Billy's arms are full and he looks strangely small and lost holding all of it.

"Thank you," Billy says. He turns to enter the bathroom attached to the guest room.

Barney watches and feel's his breath catch his throat. He can't ask why his brother decided to cut communications, or where he went. He can't ask why he decided to come back, and why he chose Barney to approach and not James.

His choices for discussion are miserly, but Barney can work with this.

If the past is off limits, then he'll just work with the present. Barney's whole modus operandi for life is focusing on the now. He can _do_ this.

Because the most important thing he needs to know is something he can ask.

"Are you okay?"

Billy stops halfway through the bathroom door. He turns and stares at Barney.

There's something dark and empty in his brother's eyes that makes Barney shiver. Then Billy does that strange, blinking tic of his, and it's so familiar it startles a smile from Barney.

"I… will be. Maybe," Billy says slowly.

Barney nods. Good enough.

"Night," Barney says. He hears Billy whisper it back before shutting the bathroom door behind him.

Barney goes to the main room, pours himself some scotch and sits heavily on the couch.

He has no idea what's going on right now. He doesn't know how Billy got here, or what he can say to his family, if anything. He has no idea how he's going to explain this to his friends, and _Robin._ He has no freaking clue what to tell her under the no-questions-asked policy.

But Billy's here. He isn't dead, like Barney had to assume after so many years. It's worth the headache, he thinks. Billy's back…

Barney finishes off his tumbler of scotch and activates his security alarms to ring if the door opens. Billy might want a walk or fresh, New York air, but that's going to have to wait if Barney to sleep at all tonight.

As he gets dressed for bed and lays his head down, he finds a small smile on his face.

There are a lot of unanswered questions, but he's not going to worry about that. He's going to focus on the present, and that heavily involves showing his brother how to be awesome.

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 **This was supposed to be a whole lengthy fic I never finished and got 37,000 words into and then stopped, but alas... Anyways, please let me know if you enjoyed it. :)**


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